Hey you,

Well here we are. You're 30 years old today. We've known eachother for amost 9 years.

Happy freakin' B day babe. I wish soooo much I was there to give you a big hug and share a meal.

But first, here is a prezzie for you:

Sometimes, you tell me that I "made" you the person you are today (or something like that).
Ive been thinking about that a lot lately.
The times that we had back then, the essences, the dreams, the music, the love making and passionate romance
between us, within us, around us...

I need you to understand....
YOU need you to understand...

that YOU did it all.

You brought me into your life by the law of attraction.
The universe listened to your heart.
It saw your soul and saw what it was asking for, just as my soul saw you.
It saw the future, all our interactions and, like a recipe, ordered the ingredients...
and I was just one of them.

The rest were inside of you.

We heard each other
and reached out for each other
through the time and space
we danced and flirted in.

Like we were ready and waiting for eachother - hands open and arms outstretched, we landed in eachother's palms...
And the universe celebrated.

You breathed it all in -
Chester's words,
me telling you what I learned at school,
the essences,
the dreams,
the dizzy sensations,
the smell of lillies.

YOU took them into your heart willingly,
YOU invited them into your life experience
and held them in your reality
because YOU wanted to.
YOU felt it was right,
YOU trusted and
YOU had the courage
to come to understand YOU.

You made them real.
You made it all real.

...and I was there. I am SO lucky to have been there.
I am absolutely blessed to have been there.
To have witnessed and been a part of our coming into our knowledge of our reality,
of eachother.
Of ourselves.

We grew and stretched,
yawned and laughed
and rubbed our eyes
opening to a new universal language.
We danced and grooved and dreamt together.
We explored consciousness without consciously doing so.
Further and further we ed eachother down the rabbit hole.
Happily, with joy and love in our hearts.

And then, years later, while we tested our wings
we drew swords and cut eachother deep scars
feirce angels at battle
swords drawn
poised, slowly circling
boots high, wings outstretched
fighting for higher purpose
so that we may never forget
we challenged and destroyed eachother
as we scraped and made our way out of that rabbit hole

we bled we fought
and fucked and talked
and scabbed and healed
again and again
and pushed away

Please understand that it was a universal sincronicity.
It wasnt me.
and its time for my ego, the part of me thats enjoyed to ponder that perhaps it was me...
Its time to let this false claim of responsibility go.

We were there together,
it was YOU that made me certain that we were learning Truth,
it was YOUR confidence in me, in us, that gave us the strength to support eachother while we shed your skins...
you revealed everything to me, until your soul was stripped bare.
And I am honored and blessed to have witnessed you then,
and I am honored and blessed to still be a small part for your life...
almost nine years later.

Im not the only one with wings.
But you already knew that didnt you?

Happy Birthday Xtian. Many more to come.
Life only gets better.

pants
x