Feb 26th 2009
The human creatures of this planet are ambling, stupid, giant-children wooed by waste and junk.
I cant change anything.
I cant do anything about this. And maybe, just maybe, this self torture, this rage I have will subside when I come to believe this. Give up. To know it in my being , to surrender to the hopelessness, to renounce my faith.
I cant change anything.
My mantra.
I Cant change anything.
THEN WHY DO I SEE IT? I ask God, the universe, whatever. Its like screaming up a well.
SURELY I SEE IT BECAUSE I AM MEANT TO DO SOMETHING?
My journey would be much easier if i didnt care, if i thought global warming was a farce, environmental disaster a conspiracy and sparkley things the best stuff ever...
Just look at the sparkley stuff...
Look how it sparkles ...
Yeah... pretty sparkles....
THEN WHY DO I SEE IT SO CLEARLY? WHY DO I FEEL IT SO INTENSELY? WHY DO I CARE IF I AM NOT TO BE PROPELLED INTO ACTION, TO DO SOMETHING? WHY DO I WANT TO KNOW WHY?
Throat hoarse, confused and bewildered at the state of it. Let it go, just journey along, go with the flow.
But those of us without roots fall in the wind.
It is time to BE the wind. I see it, because my heart knows it, because it is real, because it is who i am. This is who i am. I barely recognise her, but she is who i am.
And slowly, gradually, i re-member my self-ness. and hope that it serves the giant-child to rest.
