Hey you,

Well here we are. You're 30 years old today. We've known eachother for amost 9 years.

Happy freakin' B day babe. I wish soooo much I was there to give you a big hug and share a meal.

But first, here is a prezzie for you:

Sometimes, you tell me that I "made" you the person you are today (or something like that).
Ive been thinking about that a lot lately.
The times that we had back then, the essences, the dreams, the music, the love making and passionate romance
between us, within us, around us...

I need you to understand....
YOU need you to understand...

that YOU did it all.

You brought me into your life by the law of attraction.
The universe listened to your heart.
It saw your soul and saw what it was asking for, just as my soul saw you.
It saw the future, all our interactions and, like a recipe, ordered the ingredients...
and I was just one of them.

The rest were inside of you.

We heard each other
and reached out for each other
through the time and space
we danced and flirted in.

Like we were ready and waiting for eachother - hands open and arms outstretched, we landed in eachother's palms...
And the universe celebrated.

You breathed it all in -
Chester's words,
me telling you what I learned at school,
the essences,
the dreams,
the dizzy sensations,
the smell of lillies.

YOU took them into your heart willingly,
YOU invited them into your life experience
and held them in your reality
because YOU wanted to.
YOU felt it was right,
YOU trusted and
YOU had the courage
to come to understand YOU.

You made them real.
You made it all real.

...and I was there. I am SO lucky to have been there.
I am absolutely blessed to have been there.
To have witnessed and been a part of our coming into our knowledge of our reality,
of eachother.
Of ourselves.

We grew and stretched,
yawned and laughed
and rubbed our eyes
opening to a new universal language.
We danced and grooved and dreamt together.
We explored consciousness without consciously doing so.
Further and further we ed eachother down the rabbit hole.
Happily, with joy and love in our hearts.

And then, years later, while we tested our wings
we drew swords and cut eachother deep scars
feirce angels at battle
swords drawn
poised, slowly circling
boots high, wings outstretched
fighting for higher purpose
so that we may never forget
we challenged and destroyed eachother
as we scraped and made our way out of that rabbit hole

we bled we fought
and fucked and talked
and scabbed and healed
again and again
and pushed away

Please understand that it was a universal sincronicity.
It wasnt me.
and its time for my ego, the part of me thats enjoyed to ponder that perhaps it was me...
Its time to let this false claim of responsibility go.

We were there together,
it was YOU that made me certain that we were learning Truth,
it was YOUR confidence in me, in us, that gave us the strength to support eachother while we shed your skins...
you revealed everything to me, until your soul was stripped bare.
And I am honored and blessed to have witnessed you then,
and I am honored and blessed to still be a small part for your life...
almost nine years later.

Im not the only one with wings.
But you already knew that didnt you?

Happy Birthday Xtian. Many more to come.
Life only gets better.

pants
x

lay lines

I am a flexibly firm believer in place. The sense of place, how place defines us, how we define our place - how and when. How, when we're not watching, things happen within our space whith or without us noticing. But if we didnt notice, did it even happen? One hand clapping and all that.

Seriously though. If the Gaia-Earth is a giant organism that respires the hydrogen winds from the sun, sweats and perspires rain, shifts, moves grows and peels, with its rivers of aqua-blood and its tree alveoli... then surely the salts and crystal beneath the earths surface, the ley-lines of energy that wrap around and through it soily skin - these must be the things of meridians which we (as cumbersome and highly skilled as we are) are only just now beiginning to come to grasp with as being a scientific reality in the human body.

Metals, minerals, as do all things, hold a vibration determined by their chemical structure - ie the number of protons, neutrons and electrons they have. They have a signature, an energetic musical note, a name, a frequency, a personality. Millions of tons of these minerals in swirly strands and patterns through our earths crust make the lines of energy which could be likened to the meridian paths within the human body.

If we live on this land, dig through this soil removing precious minerals, metals and salts of countless types... what are we doing to her lay-lines? Her energy skeleton? Her vibrational well being?

And what of water? Water is special. It's molecules have the ability to capture and hold the energetic fingerprint of whatever they rub themselves against. For instance, the more the water molecules rub against a salt crystal (NCl)with its own particular signature, the stronger the imprint of this signature is within the water.

This is the basis of Homeopathic medicine and the foundation of many, many studies (remember the japanese guy?). so, I got to thinking... if each of us has a shower, every day in water that falls or is pushed against us, then, what is the likelihood of some of that water actually having captured part of our own molecular vibration r at least that of the cells it came into contact with? Would it take the vibration of the skin or hair that it touched? Or the personality? Or the emotional state of the human it moved against? And if this is so, is all the water we put down our drains imprinted with our energietic state? Is the waste we create ending up a massive pool of combined energetic human-ness?

Salt is the answer. It is only when the water hits the ocean that it is truely cleansed of its energetic memory. as are we.

How i miss the ocean...

the sweetness of friendship

There is a sweetness of friendship that comes with a deep marinating over time and space. When the temperature is right and the goodness is allowed to simmer, the richness of the flavour comes through and cuddles you like a nourishing, deeply nutritious soup of love, forgiveness, excitement and trust. Its delicious.

Other times it's just plain excrutiating.